I feel like I have been going on forever.

I feel like I have been going on forever. Reincarnating countless times, on many worlds. I've experienced infinity. And I do feel that I am here to raise humanity up, but of my own volition, I have no recollection of working with any council, my methods are my own. I feel uncomfortable in this body most of the time, I have been to the absolute bottom of addiction and wanting to end my own existence, but when I separate myself from the feelings, it feels like I submitted to the torture knowingly, for a purpose. I had to experience it in order to truly understand the human condition. So all of that is to say that I'm not sure I fit the standard definition of a starseed, or a lightworker, I feel something deeper. I am an agent of change, of balance.